Critics of Nt'l Geographic

Have you ever noticed how depressing Nt’l Geographic (the magazine, not their channel) is these past few years? I mean it’s basically just article after article about what’s extinct or endangered, now. I thought it was a very clear sign of the times. The planet has been run by the wrong folks for far too long. I guess the attack on my way of thinking would be:

“No, no, no, the environment isn’t that bad. Nt’l Geo ran articles in the past when the only extinct things were dinosaurs. Dinosaur after dinosaur, after dinosaur article…they are just having a hard time breaking out of that mold. A large part of their staff, it’s all they know.”

Can you imagine these guys’ ancestors back in pre-historic times? You got two little cave boys talking about their fathers. Instead of the, “My Dad can beat your Dad!” routine, it’s the other one. There’s the one boy that can get all soft spoken, saying how lucky the other is to have a father like that:

“Dude, your Dad’s a dinoman, man. He’s helpin’ get rid of all those monsters. Your Dad’s cool. I mean, I can really respect that, you know? He gives from the heart. He’s giving to society. My Dad… all he is, is a fireman.”

“That’s rough, dude. You know, ‘cause it’s still so hard getting’ things lit these days.”

“Don’t I know it, man? It took me like 2 hours knockin’ these stones together and as soon I’m gettin’ somewhere… here come Dad with his big feet all stompin’ everything out… The only folks more annoying are doctors!”

“Those guys are crazy, dude!”

“Have you smelled some of the stuff they keep in the back of their caves? They’re a menace, man.”

“Hey, you know, dinomen don’t use stones anymore. They got this twig rub-thing with this like tiny bowed yarn stuff. My Dad says some of them can get a fire started, like 15 minutes tops.”

“Dude, I would so love to learn how to do that! Your Dad gets to work with ‘technology’, man. That is so cool.”

“Your Dad’s a fireman, he must know about it. Now that I think about it, I’m surprised he hadn’t told you.”

“What can I say, my Dad’s a fireman. All he thinks about is himself.”


“I bet our Dads have worked together, though.”

“You think so?”

“Maybe, one technique for killin’ dinosaurs is to set the forest on fire.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. ‘cause forest always quit burnin’ eventually.”

“Yeah.”