"Merry Christmas!"

"Okay boys & girls, Who put the the 'Christ' in 'Christmas'?"

"Christ did, yyyyaaaayyy!"...

... Actually (don't ya hate stuff that starts out w/ "actually"), many downplay divine meddling in human affairs (as they would sardonically put it) & blame regular ol' people for replacing the Winter Solstice timed annual celebration of the god Mithras, a soldier deity of the Roman Empire of much farther Eastern origins. Yes, it rhymes... in English! Which makes ya wonder just how English some British words are. Sort of like "Tuscaloosa" or "Alabama". "Auburn" actually is an English word, not just British.
Many would assume Christmas to be a pagan holiday. This is incorrect in my humble (yeah, right, Damien) opinion due to 2 things. 1, If the Winter Solstice was celebrated because folks had to cram inside a lot due to being cold and snowed in-- so, you better come up w/ a way to light up moral (crowded family can make for fighting). So celebration was the answer (light up the winter darkness-- ya w/ me?) & blah, blah, blah... I ask "Where's Christ's snow-shoes, huh?"
2, most reading this are of pagan ancestry, but are more recently of Christian ancestry. Does this "REPLACEMENT" not count? Do we consider the moving & shaking of holy men & women through the last 2,000 yrs. creating ways for our Goy selves to made part of the Judeo-Christian religion null & void? No? Then neither is Christmas pagan any more than we still are, right? Right!... now that's humble opinion for ya.
So, "Merry Christmas" & Happy belated Chinese New Year!
Oh, yeah, Buy Bonds & get your kids on centering prayer TODAY!

"Layman Damien of the Cross?"

I know most in our community squirm at such things as titles, making it about one's self, etc..., but since we also like to test out being outside our comfort zones-- well, here goes! My previous blog confessed my lack of peace. More than one book I've been reading has mentioned St. John of the Cross. St. John of the Cross was known for (among other things) the phrase "dark night of the soul". This referred to times of struggle regarding one's sinfulness in relationship to God. This is a time where God's mercy is not the focal point, but instead God's judgment. These times are moments in a Christian's journey where he/she may theologically acknowledge that God disciplines instead of punishes, but doesn't feel that this is necessarily justice, & that they deserve punishment, not mere discipline. What's so dark about this dark night of the soul is one's sense of unworthiness eclipses sound doctrine. There's also the irony that a moment where you fear punishment the most is at this time where you'd totally understand if the Lord made an exception in your case and allowed the bad things that are bound to happen in any given life, not be something that makes you stronger (which is His M.O.), but weakens you so you have no illusions about His distaste for you at this point in time (yes, I know Nietzsche was an atheist). Additionally, there is a good bit about no longer feeling the Lord's presence, when normally one has been.
Though this is descriptive of much more agony than my lack of peace, the roots are blatantly the same. Blatantly. The love we are immersed in at D.F. can counter-balance some of this. Hermits! Man, ya gotta love 'em. There is evidence, however, that Dear John may've experienced this while at a monastery. I still feel the Lord's presence. Or, for the skeptical blog reader, I'm still so incredibly aware of the existence of God at all times, I call that God's presence. Yet, I'm increasingly guilty over how I don't measure-up. My repetition of the same ol' sin(s) wearing down my faith that it's not about my letting my inner Christ take care of it, but that there is the unknown factor of just what does that mean in contrast to personal responsibility.
Buy Bonds & get your kids on a Christian form of Yoga TODAY!
P.S.
Learn your Yoga positions fist before
joining Palates-- masseuse friend of mine :)

"You Wanna Peace Ah Me?"

I've lost my peace. I hope someone else has it and it hasn't just up & disappeared. I think I might indeed find some peace if I knew someone was getting some use out of it. Perhaps my peace was sent to a person I had inadvertently taken peace from, for instance. Better yet, perhaps I once blatantly stole some one's peace, the peace I miss was never mine to begin with and has returned to the rightful, former owner. So, if ya see some peace laying around, you might want to think twice about giving ME SOME OF IT!
Ahem. Then again, as Jesus does not give as the world gives... maybe I have peace and just don't recognise it because I'm somehow too worldly.
Anyway, you wants some bonds? Buy 'em!
Your kids on centering prayer yet, or what?

"Greg's Contemplations"

When asked recently what I got out of some contemplations Greg did quite some time ago on Jesus and Peter, I replied, "If you'e a carpenter telling a fisherman how to fish, you'd better be the Son of God!"
Buy bonds & get your kids on centering prayer TODAY!,
Damie...

"What's Love Got To Do With It?"

There is a notion that unconditional love is a mental defence mechanism for tolerating bad behavior. This notion makes room for the practice to cover folks from loved ones to strangers. The idea is that we employ unconditional love by not letting someone's bad behavior cause us to react similarly. In other words we use our mind ("I will engage good behavior at this time, because my love for this person is not based on the condition that they are always well behaved.") to distance our heart ("I will not be influenced to act negatively if I shield myself momentarily from them and what they are doing."). The flaw in this is obvious: that's not love. The fact that it's not unconditional, either, is of lesser concern.
Love, no matter how well we spin it, isn't distancing (even "momentarily") our heart from someone. Bad behavior is all around us and we are influenced by it. People have differing degrees of sensitivity. People have differing opinions about behavior, influence, negativity, etc... Negative behavior however, like so much else, doesn't change the rule that influence doesn't automatically mean emulation. For instance; how much of the body of Christ is influenced by Christ Himself? All of it to one degree or another. How much of the body of Christ actually emulates Him? Regardless of degree, none are 100% successful. Influence doesn't have to = emulation.
Just as God's grace was sufficient for Paul's thorn in his side, God can give us the grace to be completely open hearted to someone acting unbecomingly. The decision (& after enough practice, the intuition) to not behave the same hateful way is not based on shielding yourself. This is the definition of "tough". Tough is not blocking a punch and delivering one. Tough is taking a punch and handling it. To whatever degree.
Unconditional love is about mourning with those that mourn and rejoicing with those rejoicing. Imagine the sapping of strength that entails. You've got to have stamina. You've got to be tough. You've got to be blessed with God's grace. In other words, there is a condition.
It is my opinion that the only way to truly practise unconditional love is through the Holy Spirit (the Holy Spirit is still the Holy Spirit, regardless of what religion you are). To be in a state where He can influence that successfully... 100% successfully... well, that's grace! That's the condition for unconditional love. The good news? I've yet to meet a person that hasn't performed this in some way or form. It's true. Anyone reading this right now, I've seen you do this, at least to some degree.
So, buy bonds & get your kids on centering prayer TODAY!
Damie...

"Line, please?"

A line from the movie "Gandhi":
-- "Hindu and Islam are the left and right eye of India."
-- Mahatma Gandhi

A line from the movie "Fight Club":
-- "I asked myself, 'What kind of dining room set defines me as a person?' "
-- Jack

We D.F.ers...

There is a school of thought that says that instinct, though a form of thought, is about the body. This concerns the material plane. This school of thought continues to say that intuition, also a form of thought, is about the soul. This concerns the spiritual plane.
We D.F.ers would say that this school is not a building, concerning the material, but this school is a badge of identity, concerning the ethereal. Ha-ha!
Buy Bonds & get your kids on centering prayer TODAY!
Damie...

"Heeeerree's Damie..."!

After a short dalliance involving settling into a new job, it's time for more blogging. One of the most moving parts of fellowship is that its consistantcy isn't in how often the people are encouraging you personally, but how often you know that the people are encouraging in general. Still, it's been inspirational to have been recieving so much Christian love -- personaly. So many've shown interest & encouragment! I even recieved more than usual positive feedback after last week's worship plan. This has really backed up the trifold concept of "faith, hope & love". Thanks again to all.
Buy Bonds & Get Your Kids on Centering Prayer TODAY!
Damie...

Critics of Nt'l Geographic

Have you ever noticed how depressing Nt’l Geographic (the magazine, not their channel) is these past few years? I mean it’s basically just article after article about what’s extinct or endangered, now. I thought it was a very clear sign of the times. The planet has been run by the wrong folks for far too long. I guess the attack on my way of thinking would be:

“No, no, no, the environment isn’t that bad. Nt’l Geo ran articles in the past when the only extinct things were dinosaurs. Dinosaur after dinosaur, after dinosaur article…they are just having a hard time breaking out of that mold. A large part of their staff, it’s all they know.”

Can you imagine these guys’ ancestors back in pre-historic times? You got two little cave boys talking about their fathers. Instead of the, “My Dad can beat your Dad!” routine, it’s the other one. There’s the one boy that can get all soft spoken, saying how lucky the other is to have a father like that:

“Dude, your Dad’s a dinoman, man. He’s helpin’ get rid of all those monsters. Your Dad’s cool. I mean, I can really respect that, you know? He gives from the heart. He’s giving to society. My Dad… all he is, is a fireman.”

“That’s rough, dude. You know, ‘cause it’s still so hard getting’ things lit these days.”

“Don’t I know it, man? It took me like 2 hours knockin’ these stones together and as soon I’m gettin’ somewhere… here come Dad with his big feet all stompin’ everything out… The only folks more annoying are doctors!”

“Those guys are crazy, dude!”

“Have you smelled some of the stuff they keep in the back of their caves? They’re a menace, man.”

“Hey, you know, dinomen don’t use stones anymore. They got this twig rub-thing with this like tiny bowed yarn stuff. My Dad says some of them can get a fire started, like 15 minutes tops.”

“Dude, I would so love to learn how to do that! Your Dad gets to work with ‘technology’, man. That is so cool.”

“Your Dad’s a fireman, he must know about it. Now that I think about it, I’m surprised he hadn’t told you.”

“What can I say, my Dad’s a fireman. All he thinks about is himself.”


“I bet our Dads have worked together, though.”

“You think so?”

“Maybe, one technique for killin’ dinosaurs is to set the forest on fire.”

“Yeah, that makes sense. ‘cause forest always quit burnin’ eventually.”

“Yeah.”

Worry

Worry

It’s one thing to tell people not to worry, it’s another to show them how (much less why). It’s one thing to tell people not to worry, it’s another to turn around and not worry yourself. These pearls of wisdom I’ve experienced lately due to my job. I was able to not worry about getting a new job. I had a hard time imagining how I would’ve explained this to my old self. He did a lot of worrying.
There are movies about someone’s future self showing up in the present, full of the kind of sage advice only a future self can have. What would you tell your past self? Would you calculate into the equation that you had to be ready for certain things first, before jumping into it? Would you remember some things one is never ready for, beforehand?
I could not go back in time and tell myself to quit drinking before he/me was ready. Nobody is “ready” for their first Airborne experience; you literally just have to jump. ‘till this day, I still don’t remember my first jump. I really don’t. I’m not sure being on auto-pilot qualifies as “ready”. Auto-pilot is the only reason I can think of for not remembering the event. It wasn’t traumatic. Jumping out of planes (& landing) was the easiest thing I did in the Army. This either doesn’t say a whole lot for the rest of the Army or says something really good about parachuting.
If I told my old self not to worry about getting a new job, the lesser thing would’ve been why. He/me would say because Jesus said not to worry, because each day has enough in and of it’s self. The larger thing would’ve been telling him how not to worry. This is where I have a hard time imagining how the phrase “give it up to the Lord & leave it in His hands” would be anything more than advice monks can take, but we laymen…? C’mon! Ironically that’s all I did though—and it seems to be working.
This is another self-centered blog from someone extolling the sage pearl of buying bonds & getting your kids on centering prayer TODAY! :)

"Long Term/ Short Term"

It seems to be human nature (I say this to avoid sounding self- obbsessive) to notice long term things more than short term things. "Before you say 'No.', just hear me out." Short term things don't hold our attention for long. Long term things seem to stand the test of time. Short term blessings, however, are exstreamly important.
Imagine a tool of metal and one of cardboard. The metal tool is for somthing that can be approached the same way every time. Somthings can't be approached the same way every time. So you're not stuck with some bulky thing you'll eventually no longer need, it may be made of temporary, bio- degradable material. Yet, when you need it-- you need it! You'd be lost without it. Metal or cardboard, they both share the equal task of getting us through our journey. It may be erroneous to assign one grater significance than the other.Long term things may cause us to be gratfull due to their obviousness. The hope is that just because we realize something's worth in retrospect-- it makes us no less thankfull.

War & bars

“If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied.”
-- I Corinthians 15: 19

Several people believe the Bible should never be read because it’s responsible for the majority of the most devastating wars ever fought. The majority of where these folks tend to hang out is in bars. Some of which’ve even been behind bars. Alcoholism is 50% about being physically pre-disposed through your DNA, to addictiveness to a very distinct chemical substance. The other 50% is about abusing the chemical to which one is quite literally allergic. It’s 100% about the problems that started one drinking in the 1st place + the ones accumulated along the way. In bars where the bartender is more teddy bear then drill sergeant, the conversations can reveal why so many of them are there, guzzling down something to which they are allergic: allergic to death.

“I refuse to ever crack open the Bible again; it’s responsible for most of the worst wars ever fought!”

Bars in the Bible-belt are incompetent at staying away from religion & politics. They usually have some very sensitive Christians in them; drinking away the guilt they have over not being up to the challenge of God’s desire to perfect them. Any mystic worth his/her salt would gently tell them they don’t have to do it on their own. Bars are notorious for only having mystics not worth their salt. When they’re drunk they’re called patrons. When they’re sober they’re called the staff.

“Don’t blame the book for the reader’s actions.”

Personal responsibility is a sore spot with citizens trying to escape something. It’s the seesaw effect created by these two that causes more fights than pride.

“They’re being brainwashed into thinking all that horrible stuff in there is the word & will of some ‘Almighty God’.”

Every human that ever lived (including Jesus) has been a victim. Victims (with the exception of Jesus) have a love/ hate relationship with the “attack this & defend that” strategies of the fallen creatures of a never to fall Creator.

“If I started a war in your name that you were actually against, would it be your war and your fault?”

Bartenders usually intervene at these points. So always remember to tip your bartender, buy bonds & get your kids on centering prayer TODAY! :)

Fellowship vs. Max Lucado

“Fellowship vs. Max Lucado?”! No, I’m not suggesting Max Lucado is anti-fellowship. I’m telling a little of a personal trek I’ve been on lately that I believe has finally been completed. Well, as completed as eternal subjects go, anyway. Enough semantics, here’s the deal…
Max Lucado came out with a book some years ago called “It’s Not About Me”. When I first started coming to this particular body of Christ, I heard this title being used as a catch-phrase interwoven into all kinds of stuff. It was poignant. It was powerful. It did me a lot of good: in the practically never-ending attempt to divorce myself from my ego. This is something I grew up being told was one of the ultimates in being holy. This seems to be belief-wide as far as the different religions go. I was suspicious it could be taken too far, so I tried to be careful. My carefulness raised a red flag tonight at the small group I’m a part of and enjoying.
The Bible is distinct from almost all other holy writings in that the majority of it is narrative. Most other scripture is as you’ve seen in the book of Proverbs. Its deep stuff, but it borders on being random. It’s looser in theme than in plot-oriented, narrative works. In other words, our religious text it is full of people’s stories - all revealing the nature of the Bible’s main character: God.
I stated in an earlier blog that talking about myself gave me the willies. “It’s Not About Me” rang in my inner ear, I suppose. Egos love to talk about themselves. Red Flag! A red flag for team Lucado, at least. However, team Careful raised its own red flag tonight. Small groups by definition are about getting more personal. These are brothers & sisters in Christ that are getting to know one another better. This is because this is fellowship’s definition as well. The most selfless person, no matter how well taken care of by Providence, simply shouldn’t be so modest as to be afraid of talking about his/herself. Small groups emulate what you find in your Bible. Small groups are by necessity narrative. In other words, small groups are full of people’s stories - all revealing the nature of our lives’ main character: God.
Max Lucado’s right. In that it should not ever be all about me. Yet, it’s about me to the extent that the most intensive example is an internalized one. It’s about me only to the extent that my lesser story adds to the greater story of God. Fellowship: talk about you. “Not About You”: don’t talk about you. As for the title: GOTCHA! So buy bonds & get your kids on centering prayer TODAY! :)
P.S. If anyone wonders what that ending bit means, see MY blog: “Being Still/June 29th".

Frogger

Frogger is an old video game based on Leap-frog of physical games of yore. This in turn may’ve come from hopscotch (or vice-versa). All of this may’ve in turn come from the way the knight [horsy] moves in chess. Who knows?
It appears many have come to D.F. after playing a sort of Frogger game with bodies of Christ in the past. You can start off “Church of Christ”, go to the “Unitarians”, then land at D.F. You can start off “Catholic”, go to the “Southern Baptist”, then land at D.F. The combos could be infinite. As anyone reading this knows, we’re so glad souls land here when they do, we certainly don’t mind the hopscotch path they took. Those very journeys can be some of the best reserves from which to draw spiritual direction. Not just in the obvious sense, seeing as how we all draw direction from our past. More like as Tommy Tenny admonished: “Be prepared to give someone your yesterday today”, where it’s not your past helping you, but someone else’s past helping you or your past helping someone else.
When two or more folks are talking about God-stuff at the church-house, the majority recite (right off the bat) where they were before coming to Disciples Fellowship. Like when Beowulf recites his “business card” to the king. Some act a little annoyed, which is funny, ‘cause I’ve seen how much red tape is cut through when this action takes place. People are getting to know each other. It’s so cool when a few people talking have similar histories, they start to relate as soon as they realize it. It’s equally cool overhearing or being part of the opposite: a couple of seekers mutually intrigued by experiences far from their own.
I hope ya’ll know what I mean and can relate. If not, I hope this can interest you, enabling you to buy bonds & get your kids on centering prayer TODAY! :)

Art

The last service in which we put chairs in a circle, Tyler & Helen started us off telling us about artists, writers, etc… Helen said that they would “fall in love with the characters that they’d create”. The theological implication seemed to be leading in the direction of God created us & loves us. However, I had something dawn on me that wasn’t all that theological (or if so, it’d be pushing it). My personal hesitance (& in one case a block) to take back up doing things in the Arts may come from the ol’ cliché “a fear of commitment”.
Whether a character is written, acted, drawn or what have you, I’m probably just not willing to invest the love & labor into the creation of one these days, the way I used to when I was so called productive.

“…you will no longer bow down to the work of your hands.”
-- Micah 5: 13

I wish I could play this off as something as holy as avoiding idol worship, but I know it’s just not the same thing. I hope that if I did, someone w/ the fruits of the spirit would call me on it. I say “someone w/ the fruits of the spirit” because I don’t like being called on something any more than the next guy. The way oil & vinegar don’t mix, producing something & me just slide right off of each other. God could very well be angry at me. I doubt it. But, you know…
Folks like to say when a man drags his feet getting married it’s because he has “a fear of commitment”. I’m starting to see, it can be true in other, seemingly unrelated areas of love as well.

“Future? Don’t need no stinkin’ future!”

Our camp town meeting (sing that song, doo-dah, doo-dah) mentioned a lot about the future. We also mentioned the positive things we’ve currently in place as opposed to what we’ve experienced at other places of worship. As one that goes on a church tour every now and then, I concur. Regardless of what I’ve learned from the ICOC, for my future self, D.F. is “the academy”.

“Many of us found ourselves frightened by the idea of a no future D.F.”

The real question is not whether leavers can re-visit, but what if this body disbands? The real answer I hope is that just as the church isn’t a building, D.F. isn’t just this people I’ve come to know and care about as a whole, but that they are still who they are individually. I believe even if we were dispersed worse than the Jews, some of us would still maintain our God given bonds.
My point is we should enjoy planning for the future of D.F., but not be too scared by the idea of a life without it. I’m easily scared by it. I admit it… but, I know I shouldn’t be. It’s a lack of faith in God’s will for me. Anyone out there that can take comfort in God’s will for them being something other than such heartbreak: be comforted.
So, buy bonds & get your kids on centering prayer TODAY! :)
P.S.
“…lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.”
-- Matthew 28: 20

Music

This is an attempt at opening up more… Classical music has its pagan stories, but for the most part its Christian music. However, Classical music + words = Opera. You have to change the whole word. This stuff is rarely Christian. I know “New Age” is a pagan religion, but its music category (having no words) is innocent. Just like pagan Classical music, if you don’t know the story, the sounds are just music. This is proven in music that’s words are in a language you don’t know. At that point, it’s just music. New Age music came out of Classical music.
Now we have Ambient music. This almost never has words and when it does they rarely form a sentence. Being secular, it’s neither Christian or pagan. The Ambient genre came out of New Age music. I consider it innocent as well.
With the obvious exception of Opera, these styles of music are seen as mood music instead of message music. Due to my current personal belief that the source of all the responses to the questions in message music is spiritual in nature, I have a hard time listening to secular, message music. From protest songs that are heavy on message (albeit with a tendency to be annoying) to mere feel good, party songs that are light on message, the answer to their questions ring out in my head, “God, try God, ever heard of God?”
This leaves me being one that when I’m not listening to a praise song (which isn’t all that much), I’m listening to mood music.
On a personal note I’m a huge fan of Ambient music. It’s what I listen to most the time. I was a Classical fan, and then New Age came out. I was a New Age fan then Ambient came out. I thought what sounded better than Classical was New Age and now I believe what sounds better than New Age is Ambient. I’m well aware some would consider this musical heresy to say so, but I think you can be a huge fan of these styles with out knowing much about them. This achieves the very effortlessness that makes most mood music so appealing.
Classical: Christian
New Age: Pagan
Ambient: Secular
I’ve quit listening to secular message music (risking my being out of date with the language of my times) because it’s lack of spiritual common sense annoyed me. I’ve started listening to secular mood music, though. How ironic!!! Buy bonds & get your kids on centering prayer TODAY! :)

Blog 13- Quit blogging & go “Do”

If a blog is a vent machine, here goes… I wish people would quit blogging about how messed up the Muslim world is, & go teach. That being said, I have no intention of going & teaching the Muslims anything. I know this sounds hypocritical, but then, I’m not addressing bloggers as a whole, but the elitists. It is strange, many do get their disclaimers in, to show the [common sense] viewpoint that the common people of the Muslim world are not to blame for the state in which they find themselves. Yet, even ½ of those bloggers turn around & accuse them of that exact very thing.
I find it very encouraging that there is a noticeable absence of any such blogging on the D.F. website. What’s so encouraging? Well, that it appears that aside from having such fruits of the spirit like kindness, forbearance, etc… most, if not all the saints here, would evidently quit talking & start walking the talk. They would go teach. Well, once they were done w/ the “Who am ‘I’ to teach?” bit (it’s bound to be part of the process). The depressing or angering part is said members of this Body, would have to spend most of their time admitting to whomever they taught that:

“No, I’m not typical of the average American. I’m actually a part of a contrast society. I’m not even sure if I’m typical of the average contrast society, due to the fact that modesty keeps us from advertising to one another.”

Now, I realize that given enough time, people with similar/near similar ideas can find each other .Contrast societies or otherwise. They may even transcend the us vs. them mentality one could accuse me of here. However, most square Johns like us, w/ our JOB & all, don’t think we have time for such things. So, those in acceptance of such an education (like 3rd world countries or… like me) are going to continue being inundated w/ folks that have good intentions, but no unity.
We are able to hope, however, that God provides the unity & that the receivers of this attention, see that humans from all walks of life can be guided by God to them (knowing nothing of each other), but preaching the same universal truths w/ sweet, but not artificial sweeteners & no add ons or fillers. Yet, what about the lands from which these “missionaries” have originated?
By the way… I have the flu. Sorry if this sounds ½ baked. This has definitely been a “writing to understand” blog.

Drinking

I was reading Adam Newby’s old blogs. Someone told him that they stayed in touch w/ what he was up to by reading his blog. This was nice for them because they could still feel close to him even though they couldn’t spend much time w/ him live & in person. I’m afraid not a lot about my social life is in my blogging. I get concerned if they become too much about me. Now, I haven’t a clue.
Most of my friends want to be reassured that I’m still:
a non-denominational Christian.
Most of my family wants to be reassured that I’m still:
sober.
My co-workers never have to worry; they’d be the 1st to know if I was slipping either way. They know, like my family, but not all my friends, that I have 3 1/2 years sober.
In recovery, you’re always one drink away from a relapse. Thanks be to God we’re not always one sin away from Hell. For one, we sin too frequently. For another, even if we die in a sin who on earth is to say mercy ends before the Judgment. It might be when we receive it most.

“…& in all your ways acknowledge Him
& He will direct your paths.”
-Pr. 3:6
I always try to give God credit for the strength of my sobriety. By strength, I mean not only the ability to remain sober, but the ability to do so around an endless exposure to the product. God quite simply took the desire away. My parents (smokers, both) are so glad I never became a cigarette smoker. I’m so glad I never touched crack.
I’m the only non- coke user in my sobriety group. Their hippocampus, once burnt-out can’t acknowledge pleasure for 10 yrs. Put that on a cigarette pack & you’ll get a lot less whining (they don’t ‘cause it doesn’t apply). Crack labels? “Fahget-about-it.” Due to my talking so much about God in private w/ my councilor, she only requires I attend group once a month. She understands how the Church & its fellowship oriented lifestyle is more than a substitute, it’s the real thing. She’s never even asked to talk to Greg.
Talking all about me gives me the willies, but I should probably open up more. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. For now, though, I have the flu… ha-ha, so buy bonds & get your kids on centering prayer, TODAY! J

Dipping

I’ve smoked less than a pack of cigarettes in my life. I’ve dipped snuff even less. Yet, I dip back into my memories all the time. As I’m dipping, there’s always this hesitation, this pause. I truly believe I have some sort of safeguard (my mental defense mechanism’s kindred) that buffers my nervous system from whatever shock is lying just out of reach. Still, we all have our share of bad memories. So, what good is this failsafe?
Once you’ve gotten out of your dip whatever it is you wanted; you spit the excess into your spittoon. Case closed. When you’re dipping you have to carry a cup around w/ you at all times. Most carry a soda can. In the Army, I often suggested that a dipper wrap his cup in cammo tape so it would match his uniform. Unfortunately, there exists nothing for memory dipping as far as spittoons go.
God may be using unwanted memories for His very wanted results. Bad & unwanted as said memories may be, they guide us away from repeating evil. If you remember a spanking, you shy away from getting another. If you remember a guilt trip, you shy away from another one. “Once bitten, twice shy.”
I’m a fan of positive thinking, so I wonder; if I don’t like some of the memories my guardian angel doesn’t lock away, how bad are the ones he does? I have Sicilian blood through my Grandmother’s Mother. I’ve been told growing up that Sicilians are the most morbid people on earth & that’s why I can be happy & morose simultaneously. Yes, I enjoyed Goth-rock in high school. No, I never wore the make-up. No, I will never think black nail polish looks good. Yet, as many Sicilians would agree (Danger! 99.9% are Catholics) being under the weather can bring you closer to God. I have the flu. So buy bonds & get your kids doing centering prayer TODAY! J

Free Love

My parents were Hippies. My Dad will always correct me & say he was a beatnik. I happen to know better. Beats dress like Bohemian Goth-kids, my Dad’s a Hippie. My Mom also has a curious reaction when I say this around her. She’ll say, “Yes, I was a flower-child.” Now, she starts the sentence off w/ “Yes” but still corrects me in a subtle way. I guess the reason is because they both have seen what’s been done in the name of Hippiedom (+ what it sometimes caused them to do) & want to distance themselves from it.
Having Hippie parents exposed me to a lot of things most kids never see (hear, smell, taste & feel) growing up & I owe who I am today to that exposure. One of them was an emphasis of freedom, peace & love (yes, yes, music, Art & literature, too, but let me get to my point). The part my parents may want to distance themselves away from was what happened after 2 decades had gotten a hold of freedom, peace & love. Namely hedonism.
Freedom turned into a hatred of the government & eventually all authority. Peace turned into a shield for getting away w/ self threatening behavior. Love turned into free love, w/ all the very jealousies it wished to avoid, s.t.d.s, & arrested development in romance, intimacy & relationships. By the 80’s this was all so passé no one could avoid a retro- 50’s nerdom, which has jokers my age running around w/ split personalities. Just try having a conversation w/ us—we ride the fence or are WAY too gung- ho.
Most of my friends are Christians. Some will correct me & say, “Yes, we are a contrast society.” I guess the reason is because they’ve seen what’s been done in the name of Christendom (+ what it sometimes caused them to do) & want to distance themselves from it.

Time Periods & Outlook

I wonder; there are so many Trekkies, Dungeon & Dragon lovers, etc… I wonder, if the heroes and heroines (though fictional) of those time periods were as in love w/ their own eras as much as some of our citizens seem to be today? Also, how do we (romantics or not) love our own time period in the same way? I believe we would have to edit our time. Just like these fans have edited the genres w/ which they seem so infatuated. Not everyone in the past was a knight or a wizard. Nor will everyone in the future be a starship captain. Will tomorrow’s regular Joes be playing roll plying games. If so, will they be playing Bush & Osama (Obama & Osama?)or will they be playing you & me, all edited for their enjoyment?
Movies, though well known for escapism, also go through a lot to reflect life. So much of cinema is about the everyman. In a historical period piece he doesn’t start out a hero necessarily, or is even all that interesting. We either relate or we don’t… at first. However, we are drawn into the novelties of the era or we identify w/ the items we recognize. After that, we are drawn into the story & the time period matters less. Whether the story is very real, or not, half of them have a character that says, “I love my job!”
If he or she is sarcastic, that’s 1 thing, but if genuine, we have the one that has found a way to enjoy their slice of the genre their time will go down in history as being. There “job” has very little to do w/ their enjoyment of it. It’s their personality fitting into the work (which is a reflection of the time), because of their outlook.
If we were to pretend today’s clothes were costumes, see today’s items as artifacts, etc… the pretending part of it would soon dissolve. Reason being, far from escapism or denial, you are forcing yourself to be enmeshed in the present. In fact, you have to take it even more seriously, as you become the hero/ everyman of your times.
There had to be knights that really dug being a knight. There’s no doubt there will be star captains that are really going to dig living in the future. I’ve been living like I’m in an advanced civilization for some time now. Compared to every 5 yrs. that goes by, I am! Is this not what God wants for us? I realize what today offers, & though I need only take advantage of a small part of it, I’m in love w/ this new century & the decades that led up to it. God’s presence reassures me that adventure is not an event. Digging the early 2000s (the early 21st century) is an outlook.
“…& lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
-Mt. 28:20

All Dues Paid

Perhaps all our benedictions should end w/ this disclaimer:

“All fees paid for by the Blood of Christ & It's distributors. Into the Void where prohibited.”

Being Still

Being asked to “Be still.” always came across as an unfair request to me. As a kid, the concept was completely absurd. I was well into my 20’s before it ever became truly possible. Perhaps those asking (mostly telling) would’ve had better delivery if they had known it was a Biblical quote:
“Be still, and know that I am God.”
-Ps. 46:10
Of course I would’ve replied, “You’re not God!” Yet, I would’ve at least gave the idea some consideration as actually being possible. The very true fact was that when someone told me to be still, they might as well have been on their knees begging me to totally dismiss what they were saying. I would try for a little under a minute & give up. The concept was that crazy to me.
Buddhist meditation, contrary to popular belief, does not cure a child’s need to buzz around the room like a cell phone. The only time I was successful at being still when I was younger was when I was in stealth mode. This is what I used when ever I tried to meditate. It had few results, but they existed. Had I stayed a Buddhist, I’m sure I would’ve improved. Yet, this would be a lot more due to maturing than the attention of spiritual leaders.
As a 30-something that likes decaf & comfort food, I’m much more inclined to be still. The result is more affinity for being in the presence of God. As the psalm verse is multilayered, I can only refer to this 1 aspect of it as far as inspiration for Christian meditation (centering prayer) goes. However, I can’t shake the feeling that kids need this & that it would cure a lot of the things I overhear parents calling their pet peeves.
If there are entire Asian nations full of meditating kids, they can grow up able to find inner peace in the middle of a battlefield. Do you want your kids up against that? Buy bonds & get your kids doing centering prayer TODAY! :)

Enemies

To be more intimate w/ our loved ones, we do more than display our strengths, we expose our vulnerabilities. After the shallow relationship of mere animosity is replaced by something more serious, our relationships w/ our enemies also become intimate. We display our strengths, to be sure. Yet, deception is a strategy of vulnerabilities & it is a bonding process as much as any other.

“Capacity”

The heart’s capacity for love is a complicated thing. Greg’s right about there being no simple answers to complicated problems. Yet, love has something in common w/ good & evil besides the obvious. It’s only one word: momentum. As one good deed starts one on the road to being good & one sin, the opposite, such momentum is true of love. The heart’s capacity for love is larger the more love you stuff in it. It magically stretches to the size it needs to, to accommodate what it is being asked to hold. It will keep on stretching. For love is not what tears or breaks it, but just the opposite… a lack of love deflates it. Betrayal is a form of un-love that causes it to break or ache. Feelings of love to come are directly linked to the slower give & take of love in the past. As momentum exists, the result (once noticed) is so encouraging, it leads to joy.
There is another word for this: growth. See? Not simple. New words for it could very well go on & on (kind of complicated). May lots of love citizens live in Capa City.

Doubt

In Greg’s class ongoing these Sundays, one thing we mused upon was presumably unnamed doubts of the disciples at the end of Matthew’s gospel. The situation of these folks having doubts while the Resurrected Jesus was right before them seemed to give many comfort about their own states of unbelief. Though encouraging, there was one thing about the situation that wasn’t addressed.
Reminiscing about what John Harris brought up some months ago about the dark side of “critical thinking”, there seems to be no bar to it from culture to culture (no, I don’t know enough cultures to prove that). Critical thinking is taught us in school so we can discern anything, from sports to literature. Our professor revealed that this can cause damage. Critical thinking has its value. Yet, the danger lies in taking a shortcut. Namely, instead of keeping critical thinking confined to its proper place, we just doubt everything until it’s proven.
If we are downright “trained” to doubt, perhaps this was true of that culture as well. Admittedly, there is a quote from “Eerdmans Dictionary of the Bible” I’ve freshly come across, “The Middle Eastern world is non-, indeed anti-introspective…” That being said, there is irony in that the author uses that as a reason for westerners to not engage our mindset on them as we read. That’s just it, though. I’m implying a similarity, not a difference. Instead of introspective doubt… trained doubt.
Trained waters run deep, even w/ the shining life of Christ right before you. We are trained to doubt, do you doubt this?

Judgmentalism

Though suspicious for some time, I had no idea the extent of how judgmental I was. I knew I used to be rather critical years & years ago. I thought such a blatant & basic tenet was behind me. I’ve constantly reminded myself to judge not, that I be not judged from Mt. 7:1
It was not behind me. Still, regular attendance to church services for over 3 years now, has wrought its work. Over time, I’ve come to judge others less, & take comfort as I noticed that my own faults are being met by the congregation w/ understanding instead of disdain. This isn’t to say that there haven’t been instances where these things have taken place (even recently), both by others as well as me. Yet, they’ve come to feel like the exception to the rule instead of par for the course.
The good that has come out of this is manifold. I’ll leave the obvious unsaid… but there have been surprises. For one thing, one reason I was still hanging on to judging others, I realized was because judging was being used as a survival tool. The follow up realization that it was an unneeded tool surprised me, also. Third, I engaged in judging others as a complement. That this, too might be wrong confused me. Seeing someone as having a bad quality is to judge them, but seeing someone as having a good one, is this not also a form of judgment? It was good to realize the sneakiness of the devil. Admiring someone, & the desire to encourage, that comes from that admiration, must somehow be different from some perceived good form of judgmentalism. Beats me how that difference could be articulated, but at least, now I know there is one. I am reminded of Paul saying that we are not unaware of the devil’s methods (2 Cor 2:11). Oops.
Jesus goes further in Mt. 7 about judging, saying that there is something to be said about our methods. Namely, that those methods not can, but will be equally used against us (I guess in a court of daily life). There seems to be no finer example than a personal one. However, before Jesus goes on to another subject, He seems to say something unrelated. He warns us not to throw pearls before swine, not only because they could be trampled, but that we too, could be torn to pieces. Yet, that’s exactly how we feel when someone judges us, after all.
I ‘ve also been suspicious for some time that it’s unrealistic to ever be 100% free of judging others. We just have to do our best… & that’s just it, my best continues to get better due to fellowship. Thanks to all of you over the past three years!

Time Heals All Wounds/ Love Covers a Multitude of Sins

Questions on wed. services seem to be getting bolder than they used to be. I know it could just be me, after 3 yrs., finally noticing our questions as bold. I really don’t think so, however. The first thought that pops in my head (yes, I’ve been warned about those) is that time has made us bolder. Familiarity may breed contempt, but it can also breed contentment. Over time our trust has been earned enough to give us the confidence to speak not just less & less fearlessly, but more & more candidly. Perhaps so many of us have changed for the better that we trust ourselves more as well as trust others more.
A less intense version of this has already been going on before I ever came along. It is part of the appeal of this particular body of Christ. This has been mentioned to me more than once. I’ve obviously experienced & am experiencing it myself. Yet, I do believe we are starting to bare more & more to one another during actual worship time.
Maybe some of this can be attributed to the fact that there are less new faces on wed. services than sun. & thus such familiarity is stronger because we know the people in the room better, because we’ve been around each other more. Though some would see this as scary, it’s encouraging. Caution has its value & I’m not suggesting we throw it to the wind. I’m just happy that there is an example of trust from which to draw. I thought I’d let everyone know that it seems that in a loving enough environment, blocks that hold us back can be dissolved. Again, I am not suggesting we throw caution to the wind. I’m also in no way trying to discourage new faces on wed. nights (their seeing this would encourage them???). I’m just applauding what is happening.

“Blogging & Proverbs 3”

I’ve been wary of blogging due to the fact that I had missed one of the whole points of a blog until now. After all, who do I think “I” am to blather on & on about things w/o bothering to edit heavily? Won’t folks call me on my faults & proclaim I don’t have a leg to stand on if I’m complaining? Won’t people realize how naïve I may come across if I praise in a gullible way?
The obvious answer is “yes”. The point I hadn’t realized was that one of the whole points of a blog is that so few people answer your blog, you can handle whatever criticism comes your way! The blog is a “Get Out of the Repercussions Free Card” for not just venting, but positive stuff as well. The blog’s power is in the fact that there is little need for caveats or disclaimers. This is due to the definition of the word “blog” having become synonymous with “caveat”. It basically screams, “This was not edited for your safety…much less my own.”
In a secular setting the above would be rather naïve, for “We the fallen” love to criticize even those that are doing the criticizing. Yet, (hopefully) in a not so secular setting such as D.F., where most of the subject matter is about Gods hand in our lives, a blogger will get the benefit of the guidance of the Holy Ghost. A blog is intended to be a vent machine & a praise machine. In other words, we can blog in faith.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding,
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.”
- Proverbs 3:5-6

Blog not on your own understanding? Hey, it gives Spell Check a run for its money when you do that. Of course my aim is to blog well, but if I don’t, well… there is always divine intervention. As this whole particular blog is a caveat for all my future blogs, please brothers & sisters in Christ… fire at will!

P.S. Or encourage at will, or read & don’t answer, or…

Reflective Blogging

Dear Blog Readers,
Damien here, blogging offically for the 1st time. I hope to hear from ya'll. Enjoy or not at ya'lls convience. Reflect, contemplate, ponder, muse & mull with me...